(RNS) — We are surrounded by violence in America. It is on the news, in video games, in movies, in sports, on social media, in our politics, on our streets, in our schools, in our rhetoric and in our thoughts.

The assassination of Charlie Kirk is only the latest example of how violence is pervasive in our country. We must find a way to break the cultural cycle, and churches must lead the way.

Violence pervades the entertainment industry because it sells. Ever since Hollywood created cowboy movies, we have lined up to pay to see the good guy kill bad guys. Sometimes, the good guy with or without a badge breaks the law to get “justice.” Why have a trial; let the cop shoot the bad guy. “Go ahead, make my day.” And in vigilante movies like “Death Wish,” the audience cheers when the bad guy is blown away.

Violent revenge is presented as justified. Since the criminal justice system fails, the victim can take the law into his or her own hands and kill the offender. But taking revenge does not balance the scales; it simply invites more violence.

Violent scenes in movies are choreographed with the precision of a complicated dance routine. We are more worried about children seeing a bare breast in a movie than a bloody corpse.

In video games, we can act out our violent tendencies with impunity. On social media, our violent words go into a cesspool of anger and hate directed at those we disagree with. We can consume and spew angry tirades and be “liked” by those who agree with us. 

Violence has become the way we solve political problems. If there is a terrorist, kill him and his friends. If there are enemies, bomb them. If there is a drug smuggler, blow them and their boat out of the water. If there is a political opponent, assassinate him. If a country opposes ours, cut off their food and medicine even if innocent civilians suffer.

Road rage. Domestic violence. Gang violence. Schoolyard bullying. Brawls after sports events. Violence is everywhere.

Shootings in schools are so common that the media has a playbook for covering them.

For an inner-city school, the coverage of a shooting is minimal. If it is in a white suburb, detailed coverage of the shooting is everywhere — the police response, the background and motivation of the shooter, the shock of bystanders, the agony of the families followed by interviews with experts and politicians, and finally coverage of the funeral.

After a few days, we move on to the next story, leaving behind shattered families, wounded survivors and children with PTSD.

Violence is so normalized that we take it for granted. We are not surprised by it. But killings in our cities are not just statistics, they are individual and family tragedies.

Our founders referred to the United States as an experiment because they understood that passion could triumph over reason, factionalism could defeat unity, individualism could destroy the common good and violence could disrupt community.

How do we break the cycle?

For some, the solution is returning to the Wild West where everyone wears a gun to defend themselves and deter crime. That is already a reality in neighborhoods occupied by gangs, and it does not reduce deaths, it increases them. People just get bigger and more lethal weapons so they can outgun their enemies.

There are no quick fixes. Human intervention is needed in thousands of neighborhoods and settings. Trusted people from the community who are trained in deescalating conflict are needed who can intervene, help opponents pause, take a breath and find a way to solve disputes without violence.

We must learn to talk and listen, not yell and scream. We need safe places where people can gather for conversation and reasoned arguments.

Schools need to see their role as not only conveying knowledge but also as teaching skills like listening and dialogue in a respectful way. Teachers must model respect and patience. Universities must allow all points of view to be expressed and debated by students.

No one has all the answers or all the truth. The majority must not suppress the minority, nor should the minority bully the majority.

Churches are an essential part of responding to violence in America, beginning with emphasizing Jesus’ commandment to love our enemies. Preachers must stop calling down hellfire on those who disagree with them, and instead acknowledge that everyone is our brother and sister. Everyone has human dignity as a child of God.

Churches also need to learn to resolve their internal disputes through conversation and dialogue. People should know that we are Christians by our love, not by our fights. So many churches are now either red or blue, but they need to foster ecumenical dialogue not just over doctrine but over the direction of our country.

Churches need to provide safe places for conversation over hard topics in a polarized world. They need to model how liberals and conservatives can respectfully disagree but still love one another.

God is not red or blue. God is purple.

“I believe strongly that we cannot give up hope, ever,” Pope Leo XIV said in an interview with Crux published Sunday (Sept. 14). “I have high hopes in human nature. There is the negative side; there are bad actors, there are the temptations. On any side of any position, you can find motivations that are good and motivations that are not so good. And yet, to continue to encourage people to look at the higher values, the real values, that makes a difference. You can have hope, and you keep trying to push and say to people, ‘let’s do this in a different way.’”

Leo sees synodality, as proposed by Pope Francis, as “a sort of antidote to polarization.” He described synodality as “an attitude, an openness, a willingness to understand.” If the church becomes more synodal, it can model a way of listening and cooperating for the rest of the world. And it could help end the cycle of violence.