(FāVS News) — Days after challenging Pastor Doug Wilson to a public debate, Peter Bell, producer and host of the podcast “Sons of Patriarchy,” made a social media confession that has forced a reckoning within the community he helped build around exposing abuse in patriarchal churches.

Bell, whose podcast investigates Wilson’s Moscow, Idaho-based church movement, said in a since-deleted Aug. 23 Facebook post that he struggled with pornography addiction for nearly two decades, was fired from multiple jobs for lying and experienced marital separation during his podcast’s first season last year.

The confession came shortly after Bell appeared at a Moscow community event Aug. 8 at the Kenworthy Performing Arts Center, where he and others spoke about the impact of Wilson’s teachings. The podcast producers scheduled their first Moscow visit to coincide with Grace Agenda, a weekend conference hosted by Wilson’s Christ Church that serves as a major recruiting event for the church. After the Kenworthy event, Bell and “Sons of Patriarchy” staff approached Wilson at the conference, and Wilson agreed to a one-on-one conversation with the podcast host, who has spent months documenting abuse allegations within Wilson’s Communion of Reformed Evangelical Churches.

Bell acknowledged to FāVS News that the timing of his Facebook post was deliberate.

“With the recent airing of the CNN interview with Doug Wilson” — a profile that examined Wilson’s Christian nationalist movement and connections to U.S. Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth — “our team began receiving far more media inquiries, survivor stories and ‘interest’ after Doug agreed to a one-on-one with me,” Bell said in an interview.

“This compounded with the kinds of messages we were receiving, mostly coming from women, who were praising me. They wanted to let me know that they wished their husbands could be like me, their sons would grow up to be like me, and their pastors cared like me,” Bell said. “I couldn’t handle the praise, knowing that if those who were messaging us knew the truth about me, maybe they’d be less inclined. I had told parts of it before, but I needed everything out there.”

The confession sparked tension within the “Sons of Patriarchy” team. Bell’s co-host and majority owner of the podcast, Sarah Bader, responded with a social media statement distancing the team from Bell’s post.

“He did not run this post by the team. And we are holding him to account for it,” Bader posted. “We apologize to our survivor community for his actions and are putting measures and controls into place so that it can’t happen again.”

In Bell’s confession, he revealed he had been “addicted to porn for a little less than 20 years” and continues to struggle “to this day.” He also said he was “fired from two or three full-time ‘secular’ jobs … for lying, and covering up other things, in rather large ways” and was “kicked out” of ministry positions for dishonesty.

The issues led to separation from his wife during the production of his podcast’s first season just about a year ago, Bell wrote. The couple has since reconciled.

“I write it both to get it off my chest, to give Doug Wilson and his people the dirt they’re probably looking for, and to dissuade anyone from thinking I’m the ‘anti-patriarchy’ hero they might think I am,” Bell wrote in the Facebook post, which garnered hundreds of comments. “There was this picture/aura forming about and around me, that I was the ‘anti-patriarchy hero’ so many in these circles were looking for.”

The confession particularly stung trauma survivors who trusted Bell with their stories of abuse within patriarchal church systems, several alleged survivors wrote on social media. As Bell interviews women who have left these environments, his admission raised questions about his fitness for the role.

“I totally and completely understand if survivors no longer desire to be interviewed by me,” Bell said. “My goal isn’t to get someone behind a microphone — my goal is for them to be heard.”

However, Bell defended his continued involvement. 

“I haven’t had the chance to interview survivors” since the confession, he said, “but to be transparent, it hasn’t changed much. I didn’t change after the confession. I said what I said because I’ve already come to terms with everything.”

Bell described how leaders can maintain public ministries while struggling privately — an insight that parallels cases his podcast has investigated.

The issue of pastors struggling with pornography while maintaining public ministries has been a recurring theme in allegations documented by “Sons of Patriarchy.” Tim Meshginpoosh, a longtime observer of these churches, wrote in a Substack post that when such issues have surfaced, “the response of the elders was soft, and when the marriages blew up, the wife got blamed, shunned, and ostracized.”

Bell said churches often handle these issues differently based on one’s status. 

“A high-ranking leader with decades of experience and beloved by the congregation? You get a slap on the wrist, a cover-up and pass right on through,” Bell said. “A no-name member who will put a blot on your reputation? You’ve got two choices: Make sure no one ever hears about it and your ‘sterling’ reputation is saved … or, strike them down with the fury of the Lord as an example to those watching.”

Patterns of institutional response Bell described played out in reaction to his own disclosure. Bader’s response seemed to split the podcast’s following, with some calling her statement “woke” while others said they appreciated her consideration for triggered survivors.

Meshginpoosh questioned whether Bell should have been the face of the anti-patriarchy effort given his recent struggles.

“The concern I have — it was way too soon,” Meshginpoosh said in an interview. “He recorded the first season while he was still separated from his wife. … If you have that kind of recent past, you need to take some time to do the hard work.”

Meshginpoosh also noted a tactical disadvantage, should there be a debate with Wilson.

“If you’re going to go up against Wilson, you’re going to have a hard time grilling him about the Steven Sitler disaster if you’re trying to pick up the pieces of multiple integrity fails on the job and a 20-year porn addiction,” he said.

The Sitler case has long been a source of controversy for Wilson. In 2005, Sitler, a student at New St. Andrews College, a private college founded by Christ Church, confessed to molesting multiple children. Sitler pleaded guilty to lewd conduct with a minor and was sentenced to prison. Wilson wrote a letter to the sentencing judge describing Sitler as “most responsive” and “completely honest” and asking for leniency, according to a Southern Poverty Law Center report — despite Wilson’s own writings advocating death penalties for such crimes. Wilson officiated Sitler’s wedding, and Sitler was eventually found to have sexually abused his infant son, leading to legal protections.

Cases like Sitler’s are what “Sons of Patriarchy” was created to expose. But some worried Bell’s confession overshadowed that mission. Author Sarah Stankorb, who has covered Wilson’s movement and was on stage at the Moscow event, wrote in a statement to Baptist News Global that the confession was problematic in its timing.

“I worry, in light of Peter Bell’s post, we’re losing the thread,” Stankorb wrote. “It blindsided a lot of survivors and other advocates whose trust is already fragile. It also has created a huge distraction from the work of making Wilson’s impact visible.”

Stankorb also noted a troubling pattern in responses to abuse allegations. 

“Women have been declaring the damage for years,” she said. “But something about a man holding the mic — even when it was women survivors talking into it — made the warnings more palatable to people who were steeped in Christian patriarchy.”

Bell acknowledged uncertainty about his continued role as the podcast’s host, saying he serves “at the behest of the volunteers and those who support the work.” He suggested Bader could lead the podcast.

“Whether or not I lead this podcast in the future has no bearing on my own personal desire to see movements founded and influenced by Doug Wilson to be toppled,” he said. “This is personal for me, and I care, regardless of a microphone being in front of me or not.”

However, supporters believe the “Sons of Patriarchy” mission remains vital. Meshginpoosh said the podcast serves as a “force multiplier” for survivors who have waited years for someone to advocate for them.

“Ultimately, they are doing good work,” he said. “They are exposing the abuses and systemic dynamics within the Presbyterian/Presbyterian-ish world. I want SoP to continue to do good work.”

Attempts to reach Bader for comment were unsuccessful.