JERUSALEM (RNS) — Twenty of Anava Marcus’ relatives were scheduled to fly to Israel from Australia and South Africa last week to celebrate her bat mitzvah during Passover, which begins on Wednesday (April 1).

But instead, Anava will celebrate her 12^th birthday — a Jewish milestone — with only her immediate family and some friends in central Israel, where they live, amid Israeli safety restrictions due to the war with Iran. Her relatives’ flights were all canceled.

“We had been planning the bat mitzvah for a year,” Dara Marcus, Anava’s mother, told RNS. “Anava was going to lead the Passover Seder for the entire family. We created a special Haggadah that tells the story of the Jewish people and our own family’s story. It includes Anava’s thoughts and commentaries.”

While Anava said she understands why relatives can’t be by her side on her big day, “I’m disappointed,” she admitted. “This was an opportunity for everyone in our family to be together for the first time in many years. All of my grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins live abroad.”

The war, which began when the United States and Israel attacked Iran on Feb. 28, has upended life in Israel. Residents are running to bomb shelters multiple times a day. Homes have been damaged or destroyed, and in much of the country, schools are closed, and no more than 50 people are permitted to gather in any one location — including houses of worship — due to fears of a mass-casualty event.

Non-Israeli airlines have cancelled their flights to and from Israel, and the Israeli government has limited the number of passengers on outbound flights amid threats from Iran.  

Although thousands of tourists, volunteers and foreign students have managed to depart, thousands more are scrambling to find a place to spend Passover in Israel either because they can’t leave the country or have decided it was less risky to stay.

“It’s an incredibly difficult situation,” said Mark Feldman, director of the Diesenhaus travel agency in Jerusalem.

While intrepid travelers have left via Jordan and Egypt despite Israeli travel warnings, “a lot of our clientele are elderly, and they don’t want to make the long journey to Egypt and spend the night there,” he said. “We understand the security risk.”

Israelis are also planning their Passover seders around the location of the nearest bomb shelter and how many people it can fit. Families that had planned to be together within the country are weighing whether it is safe to drive even a short distance, given the missile fragments that have landed on highways.

Debra Warburg Victor’s family will spend the first night of Passover in a school whose cafeteria is also a bomb shelter that can accommodate her children and grandchildren — 40 people total. Had they not found the venue, “I might not have attended the seder without knowing that I have easy access to a bomb shelter and that I can stay in one place to eat and sleep,” Victor said.

Since the war began, mobility problems have kept her mostly at home. As it is, “I’m worried about the one-and-a-half-hour drive to the school,” said Victor, a resident of southern Israel.  

Deciding to hold the seder at the school has another upside: Any students who are unable to spend the seder at home are invited to join the Victors’ seder.

The challenges of navigating Passover this year are especially daunting for foreign gap-year students, many of them teenagers attending Israeli yeshivas, seminaries and universities. Most had planned to fly home for the holiday but haven’t been able to find a flight. And some who had planned to spend the holiday with Israeli relatives can no longer do so due to safety concerns.    

Some gap-year programs typically close for an extended Passover vacation. To help keep the dorms, cafeterias and programs open in yeshivot and seminaries, World Mizrachi, Keren Kayemeth LeIsrael-Jewish National Fund, the Jewish Agency for Israel and the Israeli government jointly donated $1.6 million to such institutions.

On a more grassroots level, some Israelis are offering hospitality to anyone unexpectedly without a seder or place to sleep during the holiday. IsraelforPesach.com, one such initiative, matches hosts with those seeking somewhere to go, based on location, religious observance and the languages spoken by host and guest. 

And to help meet the challenges of holding a seder during wartime, the Tzohar rabbinical organization released a guide to address possible scenarios seder participants may encounter. It explains which of the core components of the Haggadah text should be prioritized and what to do if a siren rings between the various blessings.

“Pesach in Israel this year will be reflected by the challenge to ensure the holiday retains its special character and meaning, even as we live under missile threat and with thousands of families whose spouses and children are serving their country away from home,” said Rabbi David Stav, founder and chair of Tzohar. 

For the Marcus family, the hardest part of this war isn’t just fear and uncertainty: “It’s the empty seats at our table,” Dara Marcus said. “Our family can’t be with us for our daughter’s bat mitzvah, and we won’t be together for Pesach. And we know we’re not alone. So many families are living this same reality, separated at the very moments that are meant to bring us closest.”

At the same time, the family is counting its blessings.  

“We’re so grateful for the village we have,” Dara Marcus said. “We have amazing friends, and our daughter’s friends lift each other up. We feel sadness, but also gratitude for what we do have.”